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“Tetzaveh: Fierce Fashions & Eternal Flames”
Characters: 📖 Narrator – The Torah fashion show host we didn’t know we needed. 🌈 Moses (Moshe) – Prophet, project manager, and high-fashion stage mom. 👗 Aaron (Aharon) – Reluctant High Priest turned runway model for sacred couture. 💅 God (Divine Voice) – Still obsessed with instructions. Still a maximalist. 🧵 Bezalel – Designer extraordinaire. Serving holy looks and hand-beading realness. 🔥 Ner Tamid (Eternal Flame) – A literal flame with diva attitude and opinions on lighting. Scene 1: Priesthood and Power Accessories Narrator: Welcome to Parashat Tetzaveh, a Torah portion dedicated entirely to fashion, fragrance, and holy accessories. Basically: Project Runway: Mishkan Edition. God (booming): Moses, make sure Aaron and his sons look flawless. They’re going to serve in the Mishkan, and I want them in the lewk. Moses: How much gold-thread is too much gold-thread? God: There is no such thing. Scene 2: Bezalel's Holy Haute Couture Studio (Bezalel is surrounded by bolts of fine linen, blue-purple-crimson yarn, and mood boards labeled “Priestly Glam.”) Bezalel: We’re talking breastplate with gemstones, honey. Twelve tribes, twelve crystals, each one has a vibe. Aaron: (holding up a robe) Is this… the one with the bells and pomegranates on the hem? Bezalel: Yes! The hem must jingle. That way, they hear you coming and don’t, like, accidentally drop dead in the Holy of Holies. Narrator: And that’s the Torah’s way of saying: Make an entrance, and don’t sneak up on God. Scene 3: The Ner Tamid Has Notes (Aaron is preparing to light the Eternal Flame for the first time. The flame itself is personified and sassy.) Aaron: Okay, olive oil… wick trimmed… here we go. Ner Tamid: (flickering dramatically) Excuse me. Are you trying to light me without intention? Aaron: I, I was just following the instructions! Ner Tamid: Darling. I burn continuously. I am the original queer symbol of resilience. You’d better mean it. Aaron: You know what? Fair. Let’s do this right. Scene 4: Sacred Drag, Divine Drama (Aaron steps out in full High Priest gear. The crowd gasps.) Narrator: Behold: sacred vestments, golden breastplate, linen turban, sash realness. Moses: It’s giving… Divine Authority. Aaron: I feel powerful. I feel blessed. I feel… extremely warm in all these layers. Bezalel: But you look incredible. Moral of the Story: 👘 Sacred work deserves sacred style, wear your truth with pride. 🔥 The Eternal Light is a queer icon. Keep it lit, with meaning. 💎 Every tribe, every person, every gem on that breastplate: they all matter. 🎽 Queer leadership means showing up fully adorned, not in spite of your identity, but because of it. 🌈 Even Torah has a fashion chapter. Holiness is in the details, and sometimes… in the hemline. Narrator: That’s Tetzaveh, where holiness meets haute couture, and sacred service comes with shimmer. Tune in next week for more Torah, more textiles, and maybe fewer bells on your robe. Maybe. 🪩✨🌈🔥 Next week: Ki Tisa, where Ki Tisa gives us divine glow-ups, golden calves, and Moses smashing tablets like he's canceling his ex. 🐮📜💔
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"Trumah: Tabernacle Realness & Sacred Interior Design"
Characters: 📖 Narrator – Your guide to the divine IKEA catalog of ancient Judaism. 🌈 Moses (Moshe) – Still processing leadership stress but now also playing construction coordinator. 🪩 Bezalel – The future fabulous artisan with a flair for gold, jewels, and drama. 💰 Israelite Donor #1 – Too excited to give ALL the gold. 🧵 Israelite Donor #2 – Textile nerd with rainbow yarn and Opinions™. 📦 God (Divine Voice) – Big on details. Like, "design diva" level detailed. 🎤 Queer Fashion Angel – Here to consult on color palettes and fabric flow. Scene 1: God’s DIY Vision Board Narrator: Welcome to Trumah, the parasha where God turns to Moses and says: “Hey, let’s make Me a portable sanctuary! Something holy… and fabulous.” God (booming voice): Tell the Israelites to bring me gifts. Gold, silver, blue, purple, scarlet yarn. You know, drama, but make it sacred. Moses: Wait… like, just ask for it? God: Yes! Everyone whose heart is moved. No guilt-tripping. No fundraising thermometers. Just good vibes and glitter. Scene 2: The Donation Parade Israelite Donor #1: (rushing in) I brought gold! Lots of gold! Like… maybe too much gold? Bezalel: (measuring with flair) Darling, there's no such thing. We’re making cherubim with attitude. Gilded wings are the bare minimum. Israelite Donor #2: (entering with bolts of fabric) I have hand-dyed wool in seven shades of queer. And embroidered pomegranates! Queer Fashion Angel: (floating in with sunglasses) Yes. YES. This is the vibe. We're going tabernacle-chic. Think: Divine meets maximalist desert pop-up. Scene 3: Planning the Sacred Space Narrator: Now it’s time for Moses to receive the most intense instructions known to humankind. God: So here’s the plan: Ark of the Covenant. Acacia wood. Gold overlay. Poles to carry it. Cherubim on top, facing each other like a divine slow burn. Moses: (scribbling, overwhelmed) Wait, do we really need rings on the poles AND the box? God: YES. Details matter. We don’t do sloppy holiness. Queer Fashion Angel: And don’t forget the curtains! Linen, 28 cubits long, dyed blue and purple and crimson. Like a queer cloud of fabulousness. Scene 4: Everyone Has a Role Narrator: Everyone brought their trumah, their gift. Whether it was yarn, mirrors, or know-how. No one was left out. Bezalel: (directing artfully) You there, yes, you with the steady hands. You’re on menorah detail. You? Gold leaf. You? Spiritual vibes coordinator. Moses: (stepping back) I thought this would be overwhelming, but… it’s actually beautiful. Everyone contributing, everyone seen. God: Exactly. You create holiness together, not just with what you build, but how you build it. Moral of the Story: 🧵 Queer holiness is in the details, color, craft, and community. 🌈 Everyone has a gift to bring. Don’t gatekeep divine participation. 🪩 The sacred isn’t always solemn, it can be joyful, maximalist, and full of sparkle. 📐 Blueprints matter, but so does the spirit behind them. 👯♀️ When everyone gives with an open heart, you don’t just build a structure, you build belonging. Narrator: That’s Trumah, where the first pop-up synagogue was not just functional, it was fierce. See you next week for more Torah, more teamwork, and more sacred sparkles! 🌟🌈📦✨ Next week: Tetzaveh, where Tetzaveh is all about sacred fashion, breastplates, turbans, and divine couture that would absolutely slay at fashion week. 👑💎✨ |
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R. Martin Rawlings-Fein (Delegate from AD 19) is a Rabbi, Jewish, Bi+, Trans, Father of Two, SF*EB BiCon Co-Founder, BiCONIC SF Founder, EdTech Specialist, & Writer of Queer Liturgy. Archives
July 2026
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